I noticed in the word HEALTH was also the word HEAL.
If you’ve read any of my past blogs and followed along at what my unknown illness was at the time, I didn’t know either. I spent all of my money baffling doctors and getting tests and prescriptions that I didn’t need and should have walked away. Unfortunately, I wanted to trust them to find something wrong and give me an answer or secret pill I could take to make the pain go away. For someone who even hates to take vitamins…that is a hard pill to swallow in itself….
But back to my point. We can heal to our health! And health can encompass more than our physical body, it can be emotional or spiritual as well.
I am just now at a point where I can write/blog on this subject. I had to walk away for months until I could even see the light at the end of my own tunnel before I could talk about it to you. I have been battling a systemic candida infection which can take 6 to 12 months of treatment. I am 4 months in and honestly, looking to beat that number as I feel I am very close. Having never been sick before (chronically), my entire life’s outlook, purpose, marriage and career have been altered.
It is a lonely road and no one else can fully understand your pain! Only God. People can relate, but they don’t truly understand. And that thought honestly angers me which only makes healing stop. So I am writing this to be a hand to guide you – others have traveled this road to successful health and complete healing. What is 6 or more months of the hardest diet, the most supplements and herbs I’ve ever ingested, the weakest body, the most anti-social I’ve ever been compared to the 8 months of confusing, expensive, communistic-dealings with doctors, labs, insurance, unanswered questions, slammed doors, sleepless nights and dreary, depressed awakenings?
‘He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak’…
‘but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles
They will run and not grow weary
They will walk and not be faint.’ – Isaiah 40:29, 31
In Joyce Sequichie Hilfer’s book, “Think on These Things”, page 41, she writes, “Good health is such a blessing. We don’t all realize how much we aid or harm our own health. In fact, we give much more thought to being careful not to get wet than being careful not to get angry. And it is said that anger can lower resistance to colds much quicker than getting wet. It is a proven fact that to feel love builds a resistance to illnesses while resentment and hate can destroy both mind and body. Longfellow once wrote that joy, temperance, and repose would slam the door on the doctor’s nose. There’s no doubt but that most doctors noses are safe. But they, too, would be glad if more patients would exercise their abilities to lift themselves out of much of their ill health by knowing some measure of joy rather than self pity, some healthy thoughts and less thought of self. We lower our resistance to ill health in many ways, but none works against us as surely as worry, anxiety, and care, plus our inability to recognize the fact that we are our own greatest enemy.”
Candida is proven to be fueled by worry and anxiety and, in my own experience, especially at the worst of my pain and not knowing the treatment, I would wake during the night and play over every scenario of what, why and how as well as every word I needed to tell the next doctor – and I’d pray for a bacteria to be found so I could just take a pill and get better. But God did not heal – He used my husband, my daughter, the man at the health-food store, my current homeopathic doctor and her nurses to show me hope and light and gather a few more pieces to the puzzle.
It was not until week 7 of the strict anti-candida diet (more on this later) that I saw an end to my ‘chronic disease’. I had to keep going, keep enjoying what I COULD eat, enjoy the sleep, enjoy the time despite all I could not check off my list, keep going. (Check out the definition of #spoonie – I get it!!!) But as with anyone battling candida or a chronic/auto-immune deficiency, there are relapses and setbacks. One step forward, two steps back. One day at a time. I have had so many setbacks including a week of antibiotics (which contribute to candida overgrowth). Frustration kicks in, thoughts of why the heck am I blowing all of my money on bottles of herbs that aren’t fixing me – along with practically starving? Hello, God?? [silence…]
And it is only time and persistence that have brought me to this place. Healing has moved as slow as the growth of a garden plant…you plant a seed in one place and look away for a second…it’s still there, somewhere below the dirt. You come back and look the next day…nothing. You water it. (You take your herbs, your probiotics, your lemon water, your HCL infusions…) The pain is still there, there is nothing growing. Not visibly anyway. Even in a week. But a month later…there is something green above the ground. Progress. You may not feel it but you look back a month and see…a bit of healing, a bit better now than that time. And so you keep going, keep watering, keep trusting, keep taking your meds and your on an emotional rollercoaster but you keep going. And another month goes by. Sunlight. Rain. Clouds. Heal to health. Healing from the inside out.
There are so many great blogs that have given me wisdom, knowledge, guidance, information and hope during this time. I am truly thankful! I will write more on systemic candida specifically, but if you are dealing with chronic pain, hopelessness, loss, an auto-immune disease/disorder, there is a network of people out there. Sometimes they are not in our lives physically but virtually. God has not healed me. He has sustained me. He is re-directing my life in ways I did not plan and I have been burdened to trust Him because everything else (even the doctors and treatments) I trusted in failed. But we can flourish in our healing if we keep going, keep moving, keep resting and most of all keep hoping.
Below are some of the blogs and books I will reference during this time of healing… they have blessed me in ways I can’t repay.
Also check out some great inspiration on Instagram…
“Think on These Things” by Joyce Sequichie Hilfer
“So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it.” – Daily Health Time blog
“Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.” – Psalm 30:2